Friday and Saturday night, August 27 & 28 was our first annual Small Group Leader Retreat. Attendance was excellent. We were led in worship by both the Redland team and the New Braunfels team. The food was excellent. Most of all, though, there was a buzz about what God is doing at River City.
It’s no secret that River City has intentionally chosen to be a church OF Small Groups. Small Groups aren’t a ministry at River City, they are the way we do ministry. There is a high percentage of the River City population engaged in a Life Group. So any time you can get a majority of the Life Group leadership together, great things are bound to happen, and this was no exception.
On Friday night, Pastor Sean shared his heart about where He feels God leading River City. With great excitement, Sean specifically mentioned three things that we must focus on and be about as a congregation:
A Radical Faith In Jesus – This has always been a part of our culture, but Jesus continues to call us forward, and that means refusing to get comfortable where we are.
A Passionate Concern for the Lost – One of the downsides of the rich relational texture our small groups provide, is that it’s easy to spend Sunday morning hanging out with friends. The challenge was to see everything we do through the lens of how it impacts lost people who don’t know Jesus yet, to care about them passionately and actively, and to look out for their needs.
A Serious Commitment to Excellence – Whether it be facilities or First Impressions, we are responsible to steward what God has given us.
God is at work at River City, which means that we must be ready to follow where He leads. If you want to hear Sean’s message in its entirety, you can click on this link or watch the embedded video below.
A few things we know for sure… God cares about lost people and we should expect them to come, searching for Him. The most likely place for them to come first is Sunday morning. Our Sunday morning services should be places where guests feel welcomed, focused on, and cared. Once they come on Sunday morning, our hope is that they will quickly move into a Life Group.
This is where you come in. Sean asked the leaders to commit to coming to one service and and working another. There are always needs in Children’s Ministry, Youth Ministry, the Worship Team, and Guest Services. One extra hour a week can make a difference and create space for a lost person to experience Christ.
I would also ask that you get serious about looking for, equipping, and releasing apprentices through multiplication. We must make room for our guests.
My heart beats fast at the thought of being a part of a full on move of God. I believe He wants to move. Are we ready for it?
I’ve been reading a lot at churchmarketingsucks.com lately. My primary reason for going there is to get a regular lesson in not sucking. One of the surest ways to suck is to talk to people in a language they don’t understand, when you could easily do so in a language that they do.
Dunkin Donuts makes the point well…
If no one knows the ingredients of my afternoon pick-me up, the world goes on and no one is injured. If I cannot clearly communicate the meaning and significance of salvation, faith, or the resurrection, the implications are dire and eternal.
At River City, small groups are where Real Life happens. I fundamentally believe, and unashamedly proclaim that a person who is not a believer, when exposed to a vibrant Christian community, stands an excellent chance of falling in Love with and passionately following Jesus. Similarly, a believer not in community simply isn’t experiencing the fullness that God has for them. Christian community is where truth meets life, and true, eternal freedom is born the moment it does.
But what if someone from outside the church can’t understand when I talk about the elements of my faith? What if they just don’t get what I’m saying?
What does sanctification mean? How does holiness happen? What is redemption? Is salvation a condition or an event? When you say, “halleluja,” what are you talking about?
One of the most uncomfortable things about going to a foreign country is the inability to speak the language and communicate. The scripture tells us that we are foreigners on earth (literally, aliens), which we must constantly keep in mind when we consider the lives we lead. Let us also consider it when we speak, so that our language doesn’t needlessly become a barrier to those who desperately need and are honestly seeking out what we have, but don’t understand what we are saying.
Here’s three steps to a regular pre-small group language check:
Prepare ahead – As you prepare for your discussion, prayerfully ask God to reveal any “churchy” words or concepts and make sure the meaning is clear in your own mind.
Know what you don’t know – Know which words are jargon, and make sure you know exactly what it means. If you don’t, do some research here until you do. If you can’t explain the concept without using jargon… don’t use it at all!
Ask for clarification – During your discussion, listen carefully for jargon. If a word comes up (sanctification, blood of the lamb), pause and ask the group what that word means and why it’s important. Simply say, “How do you define sanctification?”
Jesus spoke of the Kingdom of God in terms of seeds and coins so that anyone who was willing to listen could understand. Let’s make sure that nothing that comes out of our mouth or into our group would keep someone from a clear understanding of God’s message and purpose.
What churchy sayings have you found a better way of communicating?
Those words can either indicate that it’s time to tune out Pa-paw, or it’s time to sit up and listen closely. Stories move us, they are important, they convey truth with flesh and blood and smiles and tears.
I look forward to any time I run into my small group. When my summer schedule gets busy and our meetings are more sporadic, it makes the times I get to run into them even more special. Invariably, when we run into each other, we quickly get to, “What’s happening with you?”
There aren’t many theologians in our group, not many certified bible teachers or gifted oraters. Just normal people who desperately want to do the right thing, honor God, and make a difference… and mess up.
When an ordinary person in my group shares their experience of meeting God in a special way (during Operation: Passion, for instance, or in dealing with a difficult person from their past) that experience stretches the minds of everyone else there, and the groups understanding of God grows…
I’ve had a similar situation, why did I not sense God there, or why did I sense Him differently?
What would it take for God get my attention in that way?
I know what it’s like to be down and out like that, why have I become callous toward the poor or homosexuals?When Jesus said, “do unto the least of these,” it makes me think of this time…
There’s not much you can say about my story. You may disagree with my theology, but when I say, “I was blind, but now I see,” the facts speak for themselves.
In your small group, spend lots of time cultivating stories. When you discover a truth in scripture as a group, ask, “Where have you seen that at work in your life?” Spend less time wrangling minute points of exegesis, and more time telling the stories of how that truth (or the ignoring of it) has born fruit in someone’s life.
Stories are drawn out like water from a well. It’s a skill that requires lots of questions (how? why? then what?) and a genuine interest in the story and the person telling it. If you’ll become a leader who cherishes stories, your groups will stay lively, and always be a place where others want to be.
How has your group become a safe place to tell real stories of real life?
Inconsistent summer schedules can be a momentum killer for small groups. Dying momentum causes leaders and groups to feel the burn, which causes many to adjust their meeting schedules during the summer. This may be exactly the right option for your group (talk with your coach), but it’s not the only option.
A small group isn’t a meeting… it’s the people who gather together, under the care of a leader, for spiritually redemptive purposes. Those purposes carry on even when we’re pulled in a million different directions.
Here are 10 easy to plan, light on the pocketbook, high impact ways to keep the spiritual and relational momentum going outside of your weekly home meeting. Try one of these, or leave your own idea in the comments section!
Group swimming party at a neighborhood pool – build community within the community and get to know the neighbors.
Feeding The Homeless on Friday Nights – Every 1st & 3rd Friday, a team from RCCC meets downtown across from the SAMM shelter.
Front Yard Bar-B-Que – Everyone brings their own meat and a side to share. Put some extra chairs out front, grill some dogs for the neighbors, and make it a block party.
Neighborhood Trash Walk – Everyone wears walking shoes and brings a large trash bag. Walk in teams, pray as you go, laugh often, and leave the place cleaner than you found it.
Group Camping Trips – Visit a state park in the area for an over-nighter with the families in your group.
Night In With The Movies – Everyone brings their favorite movie and a snack to share. Group chooses the movie on arrival.
Wii Olympics – Pit husbands vs. Wives, Men vs. Women, or Parents vs. Kids. Go to dinner afterward… losing team buys!
Progressive Dinner – Turn back the clock with the timeless church tradition of having each course of a meal at a different home.
Cookie Drop Off – Each person brings a plate of cookies to deliver to a neighbor near where the group meets.
Habitat For Humanity – Spend a Saturday building a home for a local family need.
If you hai planned to take the summer off, try one of these ideas a month instead. Skip the intensity of planning a meeting, and just get together, have fun, and be real.
What ideas have you done in your small group to keep the momentum going?
Billy Carroll, our New Braunfels Campus Pastor, shared a story about the cool things that happen when a community serves in the name of Christ. Here’s the story in his own words…
Two short weeks ago, river communities in New Braunfels were victims of a devastating flood. Many lost their homes, and the family across the street nearly lost a loved one. Only by wading through the rising water in their house with an inner tube did they rescue a disabled parent.
For the next two days several River City families showed up and began the salvage efforts. Their despair turned to laughter when we finished cleaning their old house, and then began moving donated furniture into their new house!! The outpouring of support was huge, and these people we barely knew before the flood were now on a first name basis with several River City folks.
Imagine our excitement, then when this unchurched family walked through our doors the following Sunday! The salvage crew were first in line to greet them, and I had the chance to sit down with a nephew a little later.
The nephew’s story was that several nights earlier, just after the flood, the family was driving around, heavy hearted about their loss. His family knew about God but didn’t give it much thought in their lives, but while they were driving, the nephew said God just put it on his heart to pray out loud with all of them. He knew God was doing something, and he wanted them to know it as well. He didn’t pause to ask permission. He just started praying.
Imagine how overwhelmed his family was when after he prayed, they received a large gift card from the red cross and a new, furnished place to live! He said the best part of all this was hearing his family say, “Remember when you prayed?! God is answering your prayers!” each time they received a blessing. His aunt told him recently that if it wasn’t for him they probably would have never come to church. I am thankful for what God has done through the people at this campus.
I love this story. What a powerful reminder of the difference that the Church can make in a community. This group of friends, gathered to help Billy deal with his own loss, recognized the need across the street and did what they could to meet it. The fruit of their willingness to serve walked through the doors on Sunday morning.
Small Group is not a meeting. Small Group is people, and when gathered together for a redemptive purpose, everyone wins. Thank God for what He’s doing at River City, and thank God for a small group of people on the ground in New Braunfels who were able to make a difference, just by being available.
*UPDATE: Billy received a call from the nephew in the story, and he is going to be baptized at our next baptism service!!
Exit Question: What can your small group do, or what has your small group done, to meet an immediate need in your neighborhood or community. Leave your ideas in the comments section.
Leadership is a tricky thing. Well intentioned leaders can be both mind-bendingly ineffective and soul-crushingly destructive while those who would scoff at the label can change the course of a life and an eternity .
Leadership guru John Maxwell defines leadership simply: influence. A spiritual leader is someone who influences another in spiritual matters or for spiritual purposes. It gets tricky because we fundamentally assume that a) the ground is levelat thefoot of the cross, and b) leaders are supposed to be servants. The misunderstanding that there’s a thin between service and leadership is most responsible for this sense of trickiness.
Leadership is, and service is defined as “help,” or “aid.” It’s a misunderstanding to associate service with menial tasks or doing random things that you hate or that nobody else wants to do. Service isn’t about me at all, but the one I’m serving. Our goal is to help people be disciples of Jesus, and worship gatherings, small group meetings, programs and ministries are always the means, and never the end. If my leadership (influence) leads to ineffective disciples, I am not the type of leader God would have me be, even if everyone else thinks I’m swell.
Jesus modeled servant leadership in His invitation for Peter, Andrew, James, and John to leave everything and follow Him. He didn’t serve them by catching their fish, and He didn’t let them try to do both. He cast a vision bigger than minnows and perch, and unashamedly asked them to do the unthinkable.
Spiritual Growth is often uncomfortable, but like Jesus, today’s spiritual leaders know that the discomfort of growth is better than slow, stagnant, spiritually irrelevant death.
So how do you practice servant leadership? Begin by asking these 5 questions in the context of a relationship where you have some influence:
What is God doing? Only what God’s doing in a person matters. Ask God for the ability to see what He’s doing in their life.
How has God made them? God gifts people to do what He’s called them to do. Helping identify a spiritual gift is key to engaging people for meaningful service.
Is this about me, or about them? Jesus didn’t invite the fisherman because He needed help, He invited them because they needed purpose. Can you clearly articulate why they are right for the job?
How can I invite them to get involved? People rarely get revved up about completing tasks, but they will give up everything to contribute to a cause. Don’t ask someone if you can meet at someone’s home, invite them to dinner and cast the vision of a host, creating an atmosphere where people can comfortably worship, be real, invite friends, and experience God every week.
How can I encourage what I see? When someone gets involved for the first time, make a big deal out of it. It is a big deal to God, and it is a big deal to the Kingdom. Celebrate publicly, celebrate loudly, and celebrate often.
The servant leader serves others by doing the hard work of helping people engage in the only truly eternal thing. In short, the servant leader serves by leading. That is all they can do. To do otherwise wouldn’t be leadership, it wouldn’t be Christian, and so it most definitely wouldn’t be service.
Do not ever apologize or shy away from inviting someone to invest their time and everything they have in eternal things. They will thank you someday.
Exit Question: Who is your personal example of servant leadership?
Just outside my front door, a cricket winds up and sings to the sunrise. It’s a boisterous melody, filing the space with rhythm and tone. It hard to hear or think about anything else as the tiny bug makes himself known far and wide. The cricket is unknown, I’ll never find it and it’s virtually indistinguishable from the kabillion other crickets that overwhelm Texas summer mornings with out eighth-note fills or audacious 1/32 note runs. There’s only simple, relentless, song.
The cricket chirps of the lavish, creative, goodness of God. Up early, the cricket worship already in progress, is a chirping reminder that I am fashioned to worship with my own unique song. The song placed in my heart is reflected in my being. I cannot chirp like the bug, nor can I whistle like the sparrow. God knows I can’t sing like the missus. But He has give me a brain, so I can seek and comprehend truth. He has given me words, so I can tell of His goodness, love, character, and nature. These are MY instruments of worship.
My little friend’s tireless song makes no sense to me, and until I started writing, he was little more than an extreme distraction and most of my thoughts revolved around how best to locate and squash him. Even still, every time my fingers stop pecking, all I hear is the tireless, chirping, noise. Like I said, I don’t get it, but it’s not mine to get. He’s not singing to me or for me. The bug must worship. I’m glad he didn’t quit singing this morning. If he had, I probably would have pressed right into my own plans, made my own way through what I wanted to do, finished, and moved on. Instead, the symphony beyond my door reminded me that Jesus was serious when He said the very stones would worship Father if the people didn’t.
Today I’m left wondering whether I will worship half as well as that cricket.
River City is serious about connecting with families outside the church. VBS is one of our biggest blowouts for the kids, and each Friday, we serve dinner to any parents who come for the show. That Friday night dinner after VBS has historically been a great opportunity for River City’s finest (that’s all of us!)to connect and build relationships with guests who may be searching for a church home.
One problem, however, is that the growth of our VBS has made that kind of significant connection increasingly difficult. Connections are happening, but I think the logistics can overwhelm some, making connection difficult. Hundreds of parents and hundreds of kids, scrambling for fajitas and dogs makes for a crazy scene even for the most stout-hearted among us, imagine an unsuspecting parent!
This year, small group coach Melissa Galley has taken the reins and is coordinating the whole experience, and a key element in her vision is to give every family an easy opportunity to relationally connect with someone from River City on Friday night. What better way to give people a taste of River City than to involve Life Groups?
Below are 5 easy ways for Life Groups to make a big difference in this RCCC Outreach.
VBS Family Friday Night Meal from 6:00pm – 7:00pm
You can be available during the meal to meet parents while crew leaders focus on the kids.
You can be part of the Friday set-up team by providing and setting up lawn chairs, blankets, and tablesfrom 5:00pm – 5:30pm
You can be a “meal” with a donation to offset the cost of the meal. We don’t charge parents for the meal, and we expect to feed 600+ attendees.
You can be a part of the clean up team at 7:00pm while the VBS volunteers present the closing program to the families.
You can be the Life Group volunteer coordinator, helping Melissa coordinate and organize volunteers for the evening.
If you’re interested in serving, you can contact Melissa Galley at melissagalley [at] att [dot] net or by calling the church office at 210-490-5262 for more information.
Jeff Madison’s been around River City for a long time as an actively engaged and thoughtful member of a few different groups over the years.
Jeff recently completed the Small Group Leader’s Turbo Group, as part of the River City Singles group. As his leadership role in the group has grown, he’s wrestled with common questions and fears of leadership. That’s why the story I received earlier this week impact me. Here’s how Jeff told it:
On Sunday, two girls got on the shuttle bus right after me. I wasn’t eaves dropping, but I definitely noticed when they started to talk about checking out a small group. A friend of theirs went to another church’s young adults group, and they felt RCCC’s college group was too young. I sat up a little straighter when one asked the other if they wanted to check out the Singles group.
In the past, I think I would have let the opportunity pass. As a leader of the group, though, I couldn’t let this one go by. So I turned around, started talking about the group, and ended up with their contact information.
They really seemed interested in checking out the group, and I found it really interesting that we all “just happened” to end up on the same shuttle together!
I nearly jumped out of my chair when I read Jeff’s story!
First, Jeff was opened to see God all around him, so he was ready when a God opportunity “just happened” to get on his bus.
Second, Jeff faced his discomfort. Starting conversations with people you don’t know is always tough, but because Jeff did, something cool happened.
Third, Jeff knows connection is his responsibility. The Connection Cafe and Guest Card are nice, but a personal invitation is better every time. Jeff didn’t wait for someone else to initiate contact, he did it himself.
Finally, Jeff rode the shuttle bus, not only leaving space for a brand new family, but opening the door to fill a space in his small group. The shuttle bus really is magical!
Imagine if those two girls find a new experience of God’s grace in the Singles group, and the family that parked in the spot left by Jeff find God’s love at River City. The potential implications of one man and one bus ride are HUGE!
Thanks, Jeff, for sharing your story. Most of all, thanks for living the kind of life that produces stories like that! Keep it up!
Exit Question: What’s your best inviting (or being invited) to small group story?
Summer time in small groups is difficult. The kids play little league and families take vacations, the heat goes through the roof and the beach beckons. While all of that can be well and good, it can be thoroughly discouraging and frustrating for a small group leader.
Craig Groeschel (Lead Pastor at Lifechurch.tv) says it best… be intentional!
As long as we remember that small groups aren’t meetings, then summer becomes the perfect time to try something new. If your group has engaged in a spring season of intense, in-depth discussions or processed some heavy stuff, decide that you are going to devote the whole summer to serving your community and connecting relationally.
If your group has been in a slump lately, or if attendance has been sporadic, change venues or change the format. The summer is a great opportunity to serve together. Gather together at your regular time, have a meal together, and then walk the neighborhood with trash bags and pick up every piece of trash you see. Make flyers advertising a hot dog block party. Pass the flyers out a couple of weeks in advance, do prayer walks and invites the week before, and then throw a top notch, world class blow out one week and invite everyone on the street.
Everything can be spiritual if it’s engaged with passion and prayer. Stretch your small group (and yourself) this summer by challenging your group to get out of their routine, without getting out of the habit of meeting together.
A few ideas to get the intentionality ball rolling…
Include everyone. If it’s your idea, and your idea alone, people won’t buy in. Ask the group to pray and dream big about what to do. Get input and ask others to coordinate or help.
Get excited. Talk passionately about the plan, and cast a vision for the difference your plan will bring about. Invite your coach to a group meeting to celebrate your plans and brainstorm with you.
Debrief well. Once you execute your plan, spend an entire meeting celebrating what happened and talking about what God did. Ask for specific stories, experiences, and senses about what might be next.
The summer sends people scattering. While it may be unavoidable, you don’t have to be a victim of it. Recognize it, pray about it, and overcome!
